Unpopular opinion: Most people try to do too much when they travel and end up more tired at the end of their trip than when they left.

I once met a woman at a small bar in the basement of a rowhouse in Washington, D.C. I was at a happy hour with my grad school friend who studied in Italy with me. When the lady next to us found this out, she gushed that she and her husband were going to Italy soon.

The issue started when she listed off her destination list. They planned to hit four different cities in the course of the week. Venice, Florence, Rome, and Naples. One, maybe two nights in each city.

My friend and I winced at this list. Not because she’d said anything wrong. Its common to want to go all in on your dream vacation. I recognize that most people only get to go to foreign countries once, and they want to make the most of it. Its not just Americans going to Europe who do this either. There is a common joke that Europeans want to visit LA, New York City, and Miami in one week.

But first of all, one day is NOT enough to see Rome, Florence, or any big city. Big cities are hubs of culture and food and experience. There are many “must see” sites, art, and museums. There are too many highlights, and it can be overwhelming. I can see why people often bite off more than they can chew, and end up disappointed when they can’t fit in everything.

But in my experience, those whirlwind trips hopping from city to city are grueling and not rewarding. So much of your vacation will be in transit from one place to the next, or waiting in long lines at touristy sites. And even if you see all the “important” sites, as decided by Instagram or a guidebook or a friend who visited years ago, your trip ends up feeling more like a checklist than a vacation.

When you’re done you have photos, and sore feet, and maybe even a sense of accomplishment. But the end of the trip, do you remember much about the Coliseum, or the Uffizi, or the Grand Canal? Or do you just remember rushing around and trying to cram in one more destination or photo for social media? And when you return to your day-to-day life, are you truly rested or more exhausted than when you started?

You don’t experience culture when you’re focused on the checklist. Most likely, you are in the parade of other tourists with their noses in a guidebook. You often don’t interact with any locals who aren’t working in the industry. There’s very little adventure or opportunity to see something that a million other people aren’t also trying to see. And any time a museum is closed unexpectedly? Plans down the drain.

Our advice to the woman was to possibly consider seeing less, because otherwise you’ll miss the best thing about Italy, and about travel generally. In Italy, it is la dolce vita, or the good life. The gorgeous view of the sunset, that treat from the street vendor, that moment lingering in a small piazza that isn’t mentioned in any of the guidebooks.

I’m not against planning completely. Some planning is very necessary. You want to make sure you get the correct tickets and reservations for somewhere to sleep. But I implore people to allow for flexibility, rest, and spontaneity in their itineraries. Its over planning that will ultimately lead to exhaustion and disappointment.

For me, solution is to prioritize. Brainstorm, dream big, then edit it down. And then edit again. Plan only a few things a day, and be realistic about travel times and the possibility of other disruptions.

Which museum or site is the top of your list to see? Which would be “nice to haves,” or places that would be great if they worked out, but aren’t as much of priorities as other sites or experiences? And which can I skip or save for next time?

Leave yourself some time to breathe. Give yourself permission to linger a bit over coffee or lunch. That time can lower your levels of exhaustion, but it can also allow you to take advantage of the unexpected and serendipitous.

Have you come across a random museum that wasn’t on your list of sites to see, but was somehow intriguing? Go in- check it out. On one trip in Cortona, I learned a lot about the Etruscans and was fascinated by their elaborate burial urns.

Are you finding yourself fascinated by a particular local food or animal or geological feature? Dig deeper into it! Can you take a class? Is there more to learn during or even after your trip?

And when I’m in a safe place, I always try to leave myself time to wander. Once I’ve checked off my top priority sites, I like to set out to explore one neighborhood, generally on foot, to savor it.

I find when I release myself from the pressure of having to see everything, I have a much better time. I promise, your Instagram followers will be ok if you don’t get the selfie with Michelangelo’s David and instead you sample the truffle pasta at the local food hall. Less is often more.